♪♪ >> TANE: MY FELLOW CITIZENS!

AREN'T YOU TIRED OF THE UNENDING MESS AT THE CAPITOL?

PARTISAN BICKERING.

COMPLICATED COURT CHALLENGES.

TIME AND TIME AGAIN, OUR HUMAN LAWMAKERS LEAVE US WONDERING WHAT THEY'RE EVEN DOING UP THERE.

DON'T YOU WISH THERE WERE A BETTER WAY?

A MEANS OF GETTING THE NEW LAWS WE ALL CRAVE, BUT DISPENSED WITHOUT THE MORTAL DRAMA THAT JUST MUCKS EVERYTHING UP?

BEHOLD, THE LAW MACHINE FROM DANGER BOAT PRODUCTIONS!

>> FRED: A LAW MACHINE?

HOW DOES IT WORK?

>> TANE: WHY, MY FRIEND, THIS MARVEL OF THE MECHANICAL AGE MAKES LAWMAKING SO SIMPLE, A CHILD CAN DO IT — AND NO LOBBYIST IS REQUIRED.

A COUPLE OF QUARTERS IS ALL YOU NEED.

YOU SIMPLY PUT MONEY IN AND A NEW RULE ABOUT HOW WE LIVE OUR LIVES COMES OUT.

JUST LIKE REGULAR GOVERNMENT.

>> FRED: THIS ONE SAYS, “ANY PERSON NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR, EMMY, OR TONY WHO SPENDS MORE THAN 3 HOURS IN MINNESOTA MAY BE LEGALLY DEEMED A MINNESOTAN.” >> TANE: SEE, THAT'S BASICALLY ALREADY THE RULE, THE LAW MACHINE JUST MADE IT OFFICIAL.

>> FRED: ARBOR DAY IS A LEGALLY RECOGNIZED HOLIDAY FOR ALL TREES IN THE STATE OF MINNESOTA AND THEY ARE THEREBY NOT REQUIRED TO PRODUCE ANY OXYGEN FOR THOSE 24 HOURS.

>> TANE: YOU SEE, TREES DON'T VOTE, SO WHO WAS GOING TO STAND UP FOR THEM IN OUR CURRENT PROCESS?

THE LAW MACHINE ISN'T SWAYED BY POLITICAL WINDS, IT JUST SPITS OUT STATUTES WITH NO FEAR OR FAVOR!

>> SOME OF THESE LAWS SEEM A LITTLE IMPRACTICAL.

>> HEY, NOW, YOU LISTEN.

THE LAW MACHINE JUST GAVE YOU TWO, COUNT 'EM, TWO GREAT LAWS IN A MATTER OF MINUTES.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE GOOD, THOUGHTFUL LAWS CONGRUENT WITH ALL THE OTHER STATUTES ON THE BOOKS?

WHY, IF YOU WANTED LEGISLATING LIKE THAT, YOU'D NEED -- I DON'T KNOW, HUNDREDS, PERHAPS THOUSANDS SELFLESS INDIVIDUALS IN GOVERNMENT.

YOU'D NEED A WHOLE OFFICE OF PEOPLE WHO DO NOTHING BUT READ AND REVISE STATUTES AND TRY TO ENSURE THEY WORK WITHIN THE BROADER SET OF LAWS ALREADY ON THE BOOKS.

YOU'D NEED THE WHOLE GOVERNMENT WORKING TOGETHER TO TRY AND MAKE THE RULES ALL AIMED AT SERVING A COMMON GOOD.

I MEAN, WHO IS IMPRACTICAL NOW?

>> FRED: THIS ONE SAYS, GOING FORWARD, LOCAL GOVERNMENT AID SHALL BE DISTRIBUTED THROUGH GLADIATORIAL COMBAT.

>> TANE: WELL, MAYORS HAD BETTER REPORT TO U.S. BANK STADIUM ON THE DOUBLE IF THEY'RE HOPING TO MAKE SOME LAWFUL EXPENDITURES NEXT YEAR!